Reasons why I’m single

A very tongue-in-cheek list of possible reasons why I’m not wowing the ladies of the world.

No. 52: The fact I have at least five maniacal/evil laughs doesn’t generate positive feedback on dating Web sites.

No. 87: Going to the bar while wearing a Battlestar Galactica shirt & debating why the Three Laws of Robotics are needed.

No. 238: Has listed 10 semi-fake reasons, but no real ones thus far. Is kinda worried to list real reasons. (from 19 June 2011)

No. 340: Because the girl I ask out might start crying, like from this Star Trek: TNG review

No. 494: If I were ever to get married, I would want to set up a gift registry at @ThinkGeek.

No. 529: I played as the Bachelor in “The Bachelor” video game … and still lost.

No. 554: I will slyly drop references to my stint moderating a Star Trek discussion board in conversation.

No. 585: I would give a girl Jell-O set in a brain mold & say “I’m losing my mind over you.”

No. 620: I will ask a girl out whilst speaking in stereotypical ’40s gangster slang, like “myeh” and “…see?”

No. 659: If I ever started a family, I would name the child from @hodgman’s list of 700 hobo names.

No. 768: I joke that I’m legally prohibited from flashing my chest for beads during Mardi Gras.

No. 776: I get ready to go out by playing “Battle in the Mutara Nebula” from “Star Trek II.”

No. 786: This is my new favorite dish from Panda Express:

No. 921: Coined an awful pickup line — You must be a wrong tree because I’ve been barking up you all night long.

No. 925: Knows he’s not very good at asking a girl out, but Clippy from Microsoft Office is no help at all.
No. 926: I’m still trying to make Clippy jokes four years after Microsoft killed it.

No. 1214: I just said my first-born child is named Fimic. Fimic Olson — could be a boy’s or girl’s name.